Sex is inherently a private experience, yet it is often turned into a subject of public judgment due to sexual prejudices. Masturbators are taught to be ashamed, those who enjoy BDSM are seen as 'deviant', and any trend that does not fit the traditional mold is deemed dangerous.
The paradox is: difference does not equate to wrong; the wrong lies in how society imposes its fears onto the personal choices of others.
Where does sexual prejudice come from? — A society that fears what it does not understand
Sexual prejudice does not arise on its own; it is nurtured by three factors: culture, education, and collective fear. Sex in Eastern culture is often seen as something to be hidden, avoided, or not mentioned, and anything that has been hidden for too long, when revealed, is easily labeled as 'dangerous'.
Education emphasizes morality but neglects science, causing many to grow up with phrases like 'masturbation is immoral', 'premarital sex is wrong', or 'BDSM is perverse'. None of these statements are based on evidence; they all stem from a lack of scientific foundation and from the fear of things that exceed traditional norms.
Society also often hates and attacks what it cannot control. Those who do not know what BDSM is will think BDSM equates to violence; those who do not understand sexual needs will view masturbation as a 'disease'; those who do not understand trends will think LGBTQ+ is 'deviant'. All of this is just ignorance packaged as prejudice.
Sex is identity — no one has the right to define it for you.
Sexuality is a synthesis of needs, boundaries, identity, and experience, not just behavior. As long as there is consent, safety, and willingness, all forms of sexual expression are valid. No one — including society, family, or moral standards — has the right to impose a definition of “right or wrong” on how you connect with your body and your own pleasure.
Why does being judged about sex hurt people?
Judgment about sexuality erodes self-esteem, causing people to shrink themselves and doubt their natural needs. When a person feels ashamed of their sexuality, they find it difficult to share with their partner and to build deep intimacy, leading to anxiety, insecurity, or sexual dysfunction. Prejudice not only harms individuals, it paralyzes the ability to connect within a relationship.
When is sex considered “deviant”? — And when is society just thinking that?
Theo khoa học, hành vi tình dục chỉ bị xem là lệch lạc khi có yếu tố gây hại, cưỡng ép hoặc xâm phạm tự do người khác. Những hành vi thường bị xã hội gắn nhãn “kỳ lạ” như thủ dâm, sử dụng sextoy, BDSM hay các dạng kink thực chất hoàn toàn bình thường nếu được thực hiện trong khuôn khổ đồng thuận và an toàn. Điều xã hội gọi là “quái lạ” thường chỉ phản ánh sự thiếu hiểu biết hơn là bản chất của hành vi.
Ways to overcome prejudice for a "free" sex life.
6.1. Reframing.
You are not wrong for being different; you are just living true to your own needs map. Changing the way you view sexuality is the first step to freeing yourself from the weight of prejudice and returning to your natural self.
6.2. Learning about sex as a real skill.
When you have the right knowledge about the law (such as the legal age for consensual sex), consent, boundaries, and sexual psychology, you are no longer led by irrational fears or misinformation. Understanding helps you stand firm against all judgments and reshape your own sexual life in a healthier direction.
6.3. Communicating needs — the courage of an adult.
Expressing what you want does not make you weak; it is the action of someone who is responsible for their own pleasure and emotions. A relationship cannot be deeply intimate if both parties hide their true desires.
6.4. Find a non-judgmental community
Not everyone has the ability to listen. Start with safe people who respect boundaries and understand consent. The right community helps you feel seen rather than judged.
6.5. Give yourself permission to explore
Sexuality changes over time, and you have the right to experiment, make mistakes, adjust, and find what works for you. Exploration does not make you 'deviant'; it simply helps you understand yourself more deeply.
Conclusion
Freeing yourself from sexual prejudices is not about rebelling against society but about returning to yourself. When you understand your needs, know your boundaries, and respect the freedom of others, you are living a mature sexual life — something that prejudice can never do for you.
Sexual freedom is not an act of rebellion; it is a sign of a person who is aware enough to live authentically with their own needs.
If you want to share perspectives on non-traditional sexuality or learn more about BDSM – join 1:1 consultationsor the monthly workshops with Mistress Elena. This is a place where you are safely guided by experienced individuals and can experience in a respectful, non-judgmental space.